Posted by: rejuvenatembwc | January 20, 2011

5 Steps To A New You

There is a stigma in psychology. Psychologists are known as “shrinks” as in headshrinkers. I’ve always been confused by this. I understand the slang, but I’ve always thought of my job as opening a person’s mind to learning how to live a better life, as opposed to shrinking it. Learning how to live in new and better ways is not a difficult process and there’s no “headshrinking” involved. There are simple steps you can take to improve yourself and keep the momentum going.

1. Understand your identity. Who are you? Describe yourself to yourself. What type of words do you use? Understand that any negative or detrimental definition of who you are comes out in your emotions and behavior. For example, if you describe yourself as worthless you will feel worthless and behave in worthless ways. You control how you define yourself. Start by getting rid of, or changing negative definitions.

2. Stop Blaming. The events of your life are not your life. Stop defining yourself based on your past. You live today and at this very moment you have a choice. If you give yourself reasons why you cannot have a happy life and base these reasons on your past, then you are lying to yourself. You live in a lie and your future will be a lie. This only holds you back from truly living. Move on from your past by learning from it, taking what you need on your journey and dumping the rest.

3. Take Ownership. Own your life, right here and now. Own your thoughts, own your emotions, and own your behaviors. Stop defending yourself and be who you want to be. Too often we let others define us and we are forced to be a certain way in order to be loved by others. You are good enough just the way you are. Own your SELF and take your self where you want to be.

4. De-cide. In Latin De means to change from a previous state. Cisio means to cut-off. De-cide who you are going to be and become that person today. Cut off any possibility of thinking in dysfunctional or negative ways. Cut off your old habits that do nothing but hold you back. Cut out the thinking that you can’t or shouldn’t and move toward living your life authentically.

5. Love. There are people out there who believe that they are not good enough, not pretty enough, can’t do anything right. This is a lie – one you tell yourself. Stop lying to yourself and learn to love. Loving who you are means that you treat yourself just as well as you would treat the person in this world you love the most. When you say hurtful things to yourself – what are you expecting will happen? Saying hurtful things to yourself is hurtful and perpetuates your problems. Learn to speak to yourself in loving ways, encouraging and supporting ways. Be your best cheerleader. Give yourself a break, lend yourself a hand, a pat on the back. Love who you are and get rid of your dysfunctional behaviors.

Dr. Scott

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