Posted by: rejuvenatembwc | December 31, 2009

Goal Setting To A New You

I don’t know if it’s just me, but in my younger years whenever someone would tell me to set goals and work toward them, the rebellious teenager in me would come out in full opposition. As a professional, now I find myself continually talking to my clients about setting goals. Why? Most of the successful people in the world got to where they are by setting goals for themselves and having a plan. I know, I know, you don’t have any desire to be the most successful person in the world. That’s fine. What about being the most successful father, mother, friend, boss, employee, or you that you can be?

Setting goals makes logical sense. It strikes me as to how many people come into my office who are depressed, highly anxious, or overwhelmed and they have little to no control over their lives. They feel beaten down and their body reflects this by being overweight, fatigued, and generally unhealthy. When I start talking to them about what they want to change, they immediately know the answer and in about the same breath tell me why they cannot have what they want. First mistake.

Getting what you want out of life begins with challenging the assumptions you make about yourself, your capabilities, and what you are willing to tolerate in your life. Setting a goal means that you want to grow out of the current position in which you find yourself. Merely having an “idea” about how you want to be is not enough. I look at all of the road work they are doing on 470 and 50 highways and think about the massive amount of planning it must take to complete that job. Merely having an idea that lanes need to be extended and new bridges built does nothing unless you start the planning process, set the goals, and put in the effort to get the job done.

That is the mistake most people make. They come up with the idea but then when it comes to planning and actually exercising the plan, things start to fall apart. Most of the time things fall apart because of mental and emotional roadblocks. Self-improvement needs to be akin to the construction analogy above. Those engineers and construction workers don’t just quit building because they run into roadblocks. They find a way around, over, or through. That’s the mentality you must use to recreate yourself.

If you fear failure, success, or don’t believe in yourself – somewhere along the way in your life you were taught to believe this about yourself. The wonderful thing about being an adult is that YOU get to decide who you are and what you can and cannot do. If you had a critical caregiver who continually made you feel bad about yourself, but they are no longer around, then the only one making you feel bad about you is YOU. The beliefs you hold about yourself are congruent with your behavior. So, if you are not doing anything to improve your life, somewhere inside you’ve decided that you are not worth it, or that nothing ever works out for you, so why try, or the like.

Your beliefs are the key to improving anything in your life, because it most certainly is not the circumstances. I have worked with many people who have been given every opportunity in life, but yet they fail because their entire life has been spent with other people doing things for them. So, they have not developed any beliefs around their capabilities. Conversely, I have worked with people who came from nothing and were given nothing, and yet they become very successful as a person.

Get out of your own way, dump your mental trash, set SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time Bound). Make a list of all the things in your life that you are no longer willing to tolerate and redefine who you truly are. Here’s to making 2010 a New You.

Oh, would that my mind could let fall its dead ideas, as the tree does its withered leaves!  ~Andre Gide

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